You Belong to Me
by Rally4ever
Summary: Rally4ever's master extreme epic... Not for the faint of heart! Hardcore Rily fans only need apply here... This is a RFR novella. The Writing Style may not be for everyone. How could Sound Wave have gone a little differently? Let's find out...
1. A Sound Wave Retreat

I don't own Lily and Ray... or anything affiliated with RFR. Just a hardcore fan... trying to keep the memory ofthe show she loved... ALIVE!

* * *

Sound Wave, what a messed up  
mix bag of emotions...  
Lily realized it had been all she wanted,

a chance to express herself and let everyone know what was important to her.

Then again, it had been a chance to express herself and let everyone know what was important to her, or rather who. Be careful what you wish for...

She had worked so hard for weeks to even get on the stand-by list for Soundwave, now she almost wished she never made the cut. IN SHORT, it was a disaster beyond belief...

NO amount of the audience's adoration or the congratulatory back-pats she received on her way to get through to Ray could compensate for her loss...  
Those words still rang in her ear, and her voice would be forever haunted by the release of the utmost desire in her heart...

Now, everyone knew, except the one who need to know most...  
She could still almost taste the desperation on her lips...

anything to make him stay, except asking him to.  
Her last impassioned plea, "Ray, I love you..." Fell on deaf ears.

Now she was determined to never feel anything real ever again,

to never be passionate about anything or anyone else.

She would pretend from now on, to be living 'til she was blue in the face!

Ray was her life, so now inside she was dead and wasn't sure she'd ever be able to come back.

To see him kiss Grace, to witness 'her' take Ray's hand and lead him away from her... had broken Lily's heart beyond repair... WORSE, IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!

SHE SAW EVERYTHING SO CLEARLY NOW,

all that lead up to this devastating moment... SHE SAW TRUTH!  
She knew then, this pain she now bore, this agony would be hers for life.  
She needed to get out of there... back to the only place that could comfort her, where she could be her true self, one last time for one last song(the one that had gotten her in this mess to begin with), she would go there before the mask would begin to fall into place, before the lies began. Where she could be "Shady Lane" and say want she really wanted to; not scared little Lily Randall who would hold herself back from what she wanted. Her sanctuary, the station was the only place she could run to for shelter now, so in the midst of the crowd as she saw Ray's retreating figure,

SHE ran as fast and as far away as she could in the other direction...


	2. Who Do I Belong To Now?

I, Rally4ever do not own RFR... Well, gee sarcastic headings keep getting harder and harder to come up with...Well, I'll get plenty of practice with this story... It only gets longer, but it's a good read... I promise. I do own this story, it's like my own little piece of RFR...along with the "SAVE RFR... or ELSE" t-shirt and the countless tapes... It's all I have left. It's my pride... it's still my baby... even after it's completion. I did promise an epic, Didn't I? It's been my dream to see it up on this site...

* * *

Sound Wave, 

what a messed up, mix bag of emotions...

Ray had just gotten back from dropping a tired Grace off at home being the gentleman that he was...

But, he still couldn't get his tired thoughts around Sound Wave... as he was walking alone his mind was wandering...

As his mind is so used to doing...

For weeks, he had been hoping that

Sound Wave would give him an answer... He knew Lily well enough to know when she was thinking about him... When a song would be about him; During the intro, she got that look in her eyes when she looked at him (the one where she's planning something big)... He could still hear her say, "This one's for you Ray..." She was right, this one was especially for him... He wished for a sign to tell him what to do, for destiny to point him in the right direction... for some guidance from the universe that Swami Travis was always boring him to death with...

Something had to tell him whether or not he had the right to hold out some shred of hope... Sound Wave was that sign... Lily gave him a sign through her song...

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

He never realized how true those words were, until they hit him like a sack of bricks...

In short, Sound Wave was a disaster beyond belief! Now, he could barely breathe... to think about it! This was all too much, way too soon!

That Stagnificent (stunning and magnificent) girl, the one, the only Lily Randall... The only person he had been able to see himself really loving for so long,  
the other girls just only seemed to lead him back to her, SHE wanted him of all people to move on...

He would for her sake not his own, he was first and foremost her best friend after all... If that's what she needed him to do... goodbye wouldn't be that hard, right?...

YEAH RIGHT, SURE... Any Day Now...!

Easier said than done, a lot of things for Ray were easier said because working at them was just well, too much work... But Lily was worth it...

He never tried for much in his life, but God he tried to try for her...

HE GAVE HER HIS ALL, His HEART on a silver platter, and his knees in a badly formed swimsuit... He gave her flicorice to make her smile, He gave her a Little Miss Forest Ranger compass ring to show her that no matter where she went she could always find her way back home to him... He gave her a t-shirt not because she missed the Flaming Lips, but because he missed her... because he missed doing things for her, though he knew he never had to, he wanted to.

Not because he was Feet (funny and sweet but because she was all that to him and so much more). What he gave her most... WAS his ARM...

He was her living, breathing punching bag for sure, she could take anything out on him... He could roll with every punch to make her laugh...

And he was also her crying shoulder, who would catch all her tears... If she'd let him... HE didn't care about his own bruises, he'd take away any pain he could from her  
to put it all on himself... He would have always been strong for her...

Ray didn't know much, but he knew enough to know; all he knew was her!

She's the only thing he could think about all day without getting a headache...

God, did it all mean nothing to her? Open Mikes, birthday cakes, taunting arm punches which meant no harm.

Their memories... all of them...

Everything they shared between them...

WAS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?

It was all just slipping away from his grasp like sand... He was helpless to stop it this time... No amount of milk-squirting or Jumpy Juniors would bring her back to him now...  
Is this what she really wanted?

He didn't know what to feel about anything anymore...

WAIT...

It was coming to him like a flood with such force and power; HOW COULD HE IGNORE IT?

... HE KNEW EXACTLY HOW HE FELT

and he was...

ANGRY!

HOW DARE SHE!

She used their memories like a hand-crafted, deadly weapon against him...

IT was useless to fight against it...

She embarrassed him in front of Grace and in front of everyone; teasing and taunting him with that hauntingly trutiful (truthful and beautiful) song...

She dared him to remember all the history they had together... called him to feel the way they once did for one last time; for one last song...

And now he couldn't forget...

What kind of person does that?  
Embarrass someone they care about in "front" of all of Roscoe...

Then, Ray let the weight of those words hit him as he recalled the Mr. Roscoe pageant, another memory to cross off of a list he thought would be unending...

HE TRIED TO REMEMBER...  
Why did he call her out in front of 'all of Roscoe' at Mr. Roscoe? He knew it wasn't to make her cry like he was doing now...

He remembered what he said, " if he could relive one moment over and over again... he would hope just one of those times he would get it right and She would be able  
to look past all the hurt and tears; to see a guy who's crazy about a girl..."

And on reliving those words; that memory... His last walled defense broke down and so had he... And as quickly as the anger came; it left him... liked an ebbed tide...

It's just... only with no more anger, his heart was left void and vacant by the blow she had dealt him...

He was afraid of the emptiness; she took a huge chunk of his heart with her... where ever it was she was going...

HIS fragile HEART, Was it even beating still? Why was he living?

He had done a lot wrong in and with his life, but the one thing it seemed he had always done right was love a girl named Lily Randall...

That might have made him the rightest, smartest man in this world...

HE used to be so BLESSED...

SHE was his gift, and he looked at her like a boy opening a Christmas present... HIS forever birthday...

Man, this sucks...

He liked Grace she was perfect, charming, flawless, and wonderful... BUT SHE JUST WAS NOT...  
SHE JUST WASN'T LILY!  
HE COULD GET LOST IN ALL OF HER LITTLE QUIRKS, LIKE SHE USED TO FOR HIM... PUT UP WITH HIM...  
HE COULD STAY IN THEIR MEMORIES TOGETHER FOREVER!  
SOMETHING BIGGER THAN JUST HIM.

He had to be honest with himself if no one else...

HE LOVED LILY!

Man, this sucks...  
Man, especially now since she didn't love him...  
WHAT WAS THIS?

IT was eating and tearing him up alive inside...

He WAS sure to have some kind of mental breakdown sooner rather than later; therapy would be required...

For example, earlier that night as Grace was pulling his hand to head out the door of Sound Wave...

He could have sworn he heard the faintest, "Ray, I love you..."

How pathetic was he?  
To rest all of his hopes and dreams on a shadow of a dying whisper...

He really did need to get his hearing checked!  
Only problem with that was... Ray didn't like doctors much... Unless they promised him a lollipop and a monkey sticker telling him what a "Good Boy" he had been.  
But, it had been so long since he sought such a "stamp" of approval, Don't get him wrong he hadn't asked for another monkey sticker since who knows when...  
HE lost count... since WHAT? About a week ago; right?

Hey, even though he was in high school he was man enough to admit he was into his monkey-side...

HE ANSWERED THE CALL OF THE WILD!

Now, back to Lily...

He liked MONKEYS...  
Monkeys, reminded him of Lily because he always had fun with monkeys and he always had fun with her...

He first saw "them" with her on a field trip to the Roscoe Zoo... when she got scared and held his hand..

Just thinking about her made him smile to himself...  
In spite of him desperately not wanting to...

He must not have been desperate enough...

He wished he could will amnesia... WAS IT POSSIBLE?

He must not have wished hard enough...

Wow, Grace's house is a lot farther than he thought, those two blocks seemed to go on and on for eternity...

Every step was more lonely than the one he took that came before...

He was almost to his own front door now,

he saw the glow of the porch light call him back home towards a  
"noble" retreat...

Any "real" man, would duck and cover in the wake of such flat out rejection...

A man has to have his limits on his dignity and save face somehow...

He had to just give up and go home...

Who was he Kidding? Fooling no one ...  
Because Lily is home to him

He couldn't get her out of his system...

There just has to be some kind of support group for this kind of thing,  
They could call it the "LLA" the...  
"Lily Lovers Anonymous" ... He and Travis could both sign up...

Hi my name is... Ray and I have a problem; a little addiction if you will...

Fine if Lily was a drug, he would just have to go through Detox... Cold-Turkey

And give up on her...

Though, Ray was wise enough to believe that you don't give up on your friends...

That you don't give up on love...

That you hold on 'til your arms rip out of their sockets...

So, what was to stop him now from doing just that?

Oh, yeah he knew what it was; he remembered...

Lily; herself...

She wanted him to move on... She asked this last "little" favor of him ... She told him that it was his...

"GO TIME..." ironic choice of words...

And he always knew he'd do anything for her; ANYTIME!

He'd be selfless and respect her wishes... He wanted her happy...

If it meant so much to her... He'd live a lie, he'd let a mask fall over his face...

He'd go on; move on and pretend to love someone else in hopes that in time he actually would...  
He saw his future though, and knew what would come of that "perfect" plan... The inevitable, end result.  
He was never good at planning things...

DARN HER, DARN Lily...

Always thinking about herself, and not worrying about anyone else's feelings... He'd rather have it no other way... BUT... JUST ONCE...

He wanted to be selfish and do something for himself... But where could he run to do that...

Where could he go... Where no one would find him?

Where he could be his true goof-ball self... Where he could have his craws and tell his jokes...

Where he could be "Pronto"...  
FINE, he knew exactly where he could go...

If Lily wanted him to get on with his life...  
He would... He'd close this chapter...

Maybe he would get over Lily...

But not here... just not right now...

"Tomorrow" was another day, just for tonight; once more he'd love her with all that was left in him to give...

Even if she would only be his in memory..

He knew it'd be a burden he'd bear for LIFE...

So, though his house was right in front of him; his warm, welcoming bed was calling...

HE ran as fast and as far away as he could in the other direction... towards the shelter of a lonely radio station...


	3. Find Where You Belong

I confess, I don't own RFR or its affiliates (characters etc.). I still wish I did even though it's all over now, except for in the hardcore, loyal fans' minds.

Hey, guys...

Sorry it took so long for me to update...

Let me send out thanks in order: I am one of those authors who appreciates her reviewers... My friends/ writing "Colleagues" can vouch for me on that one...

**Mallangel**: You're always there for me , thanks for the support... I did holla at you on the review board...

**LuckyYou**: Thanks, I love my opening too... And "EMOTION" is what I'm all about writing.

**ItalHunni28**: Like I told Lucky... I like my "start" too... Um, sorry it took me so long to update on this... I'm glad you're loving it... And also thanks for supporting my other story too... "Did you love me..."(I'm J.T13 on there..), I Will be updating that one soon too.

**lola5**: I love your reviews... they're "interesting" themselves, I know because I saw you on my other stories... Yeah, I like writing a bunch of Rily fics... This one is my "topper" though... my baby.

**Kristi**: Thanks for the O.M.G and the "amazings"... I'm going... I'm going.

**Purplereader**: I like your pen name by the way... And "beautiful," well I'm touched you'd think so and am honored this is going on your "favs" list... It means a lot to me.

**Lilyflowr33**: Yea, I didn't forget about you... How could I? After all we've been through together... Anyhow, you're so funny... I knew that but you reminded me... I know you read this story! She ladies and gentleman, put me on the N's fanfic weekly... LOL. This last part is a call- out to MALLY too... Yeah, we can do that "whole" RFR after thing... since I did suggest it... It would be silly to back down on that. WE could also put it up on here too... Anyhow, we'll just have to work out the deats... I haven't been back on the-N for a while. You know gurl... you can always e-mail me... that goes for Mally too. Click on my pen name here... it has my address.

Now, that the shout-outs are over... this is the start of one of Rally's infamous "mini-chapters." NOW, WHERE WERE WE? Oh yes, I believe Ray was running for his life... well at least his sanity of mind. We stick with him on his journey... to find where he belongs.

* * *

As Ray continued to run; he felt the first sprinkles of light rain drops begin to descend

down and hit his forehead...

"Oh GREAT! Just my luck... This is the worst day of my life..." He said out loud to no one really...

Finally, he had made it! Though he could tell by the slightly illuminated station; it seemed someone had beaten him there...

What little breath he had left in his body from the run; caught in his throat... At sight of the particularly gorgeous creature who had consumed his thoughts just moments before...

Lily Randall...

He gulped down his surprise and shock! He was instantly fascinated as he continued to step down the stairs and watch her through the foggy station window...

Her back was turned to him on the couch, but he could clearly she had been crying for quite some time and hadn't stopped yet...

He was now glad it was dark so he could watch her unnoticed...

He always hated seeing her cry though, and because of it, new tears broke free from his eyes and mixed with the now pouring rain upon his face ...

WAIT... Hold all the MONKEYS... Horses... WHATEVER..

SHE WAS CRYING? He asked this to himself as more of a rhetorical statement, than an actual question...

Why was she of all people crying; after what she'd done to him? Shouldn't she be really satisfied with herself right about now?

She was after all, as she claimed...

A whole new person with a whole new care-free life; one without him to bother her...

One without a past to haunt her...

He was more confused than ever... and he'd just thought he'd hit his limit on confusion say about half an hour ago...

That was what had brought him here... WASN'T IT?

HE WANTED, NO HE NEEDED ANSWERS... ANY...

In a flash, he could just barge through that metallic door and confront her; demand for the truth, the explanation he so felt entitled to...

As he looked on... Something made him ignore that impulse...

Some unknown force made him wait...

Told him to hold back for a little while longer...

Though it was almost unbearable, he did hold off...

He slumped, and sat down slowly on the step beneath him in anticipation...

HE NEVER ONCE TOOK HIS EYES FROM OFF OF HER...


	4. You Belong To Me, Lilys Song

Rally doesn't own RFR in all it's greatness... This story is just her little piece of the pie

SHOUT-OUTS:

**Purplereader: **Hopefully this next chapter will be like Kleenex for your soul... I think tears have been some of my biggest supporters... I consider them major compliments. Now, I can't promise there won't be more tears to shed for Lily and Ray... But, I can promise each one will be well worth it in this crazy roller coaster ride story of mine.

**ItalHunni28: **Always good to hear from you... I appreciate all the 'support' I can get. So, I support your supporting me whole heartedly... Seriously, with gratitude I thank you for hanging in there... I'm sorry it's been taking me a while to update my stories... Life does get in the way, but I only hope the payoff will help you forget the wait.

**lola5**: I confess all you said was true... I hope you weren't too disappointed. I warned the readers before hand ... it would be one of my infamous "mini-chapters"... See, you make a good point and please allow me to explain. Writing is indeed a "PROCESS," an intricate one. Part of my job as an author is to paint a picture, to set a scene, and most of all TO LISTEN TO WHAT MY STORY WANTS. People have often asked how I do just that... They wonder how I can put so much punch in the emotion I portray... Well, It's been my experience that some writers become a tad too "_egar_" in their endeavors, and just want to help the story along, so they rush into it. IN MY CASE, the story helps me by pacing itself. It almost seems to tell me what it needs... It needs a breather, a break perhaps, because too much going on at one time is not a good thing, otherwise it makes a story seem jumbled and perhaps a little too chaotic. The chapter before (Who Do I Belong to Now?) is one of the stories most "crafted" inner monologues and it took a lot out of it, attention wise. Ray's run not only bought me much needed time, it bought my story some too. And actually it ties in very well later, and my story wouldn't be the same without it. I PROMISE, "mini-chapters" are not at all mundane or wasteful, even if "not much happens," they help us prepare for something to. We are right there with the character (Ray, in this instance) with suspense, confusion, and perhaps a little frustration of our own. Not every chapter is perfect, You guys have no idea how much I still continue to pour over this story, and make subtle but necessary changes. IT helps it flow along much better. All I'm saying is, patience is a virtue and THE BEST THINGS take time, investment, and commitment. Thank you for hanging in there with me... I'll tell you what, if you will, I will. Thanks for saying I'm a "good writer", it means a lot to me, and because it does... I don't need credit, because I'd much rather have the story speak for itself and let my work represent its own value. It doesn't need me to prove itself, it takes on a life all on it's own.

THIS NEXT CHAPTER is definitely one of my proudest and best, so I dedicate it to you lola and all the other faithful readers. This chapter is central to the story. Lola, I think once you read this next part, you'll have some idea of what I'm trying to explain. Because, words can't do the experience justice. An atmosphere, a setting, attention to detail (especially emotion), are all keys to a great story. Honestly, I don't like to ever brag or toot-my- own- horn, but if I don't make it up to you with this chapter... I WON'T TRUST MYSELF, or MY WRITING NEVER, EVER AGAIN! Lol, I have faith in this story, otherwise I wouldn't put so much of myself into it. You'll love this...

* * *

15 minutes later... 

"Man..." Ray said to himself still watching Lily, "Brennan, you are so verging on stalkerhood right about now!"

Ray was trying to reason with himself... not really knowing why he was sitting on the stairs; in the rain in the first place...

What was he waiting on?

Just waiting to wait... it seemed, and it was bugging the crud out of him...

RAY WAS GEtting ANTSY... he could never sit still in one place for very long...

"That is it..." Ray said softly to himself, "I've been here way too long and Lily doesn't need me intruding in her life anymore..."

Great BRENNAN... You are a genius... the girl tells you to move on and what are you doing? WATCHING HER... No wonder Lily wants to get rid of you... You can't even follow "simple" instructions... Look, you came here to get over her, it's the perfect time... DO IT NOW! Just go back home where you belong...

and on that note...

Ray rose up and said to himself, "I'm so outta here... she doesn't need me..." He started to climb back up the stairs with a quickened pace,

BUT...

He heard a familiar voice from inside the station reign out, "This is the worst day of my life! Oh, Ray..."

Hearing his name on her lips, stopped him dead in his tracks... It was a sweet sound. He stood still; frozen yet again for the third consecutive time this night... it was absolutely amazing the effect she had on him... she made the whole world stop and listen...

Lily continued to say, "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault!"

His ears were ringing now... a tingling sensation continued to creep upward along his spine... His earlier sense of foreboding returned stronger... it told him something big was about to happen... and it was in full swing now... He was literally going haywire or he was sure to short- circuit any minute now...

WHAT is she talking about?

Poor Ray, why doesn't anyone tell him what's going on around here anymore?

All he could manage to do was turn back around slowly and stand next to the window, placing his hand on the foggy glass he began to lighty trace along the countours of her face,

God, she's so beautiful when's she's guilty... even if she shouldn't have anything to feel sorry for... He could never find it in his heart to ever really blame her for anything... He could never stay angry at her for long, and he both hated and loved how she knew that.

Why would she do this to herself?

She'd always done right by him.

Why was she beating herself up?

Ray was a viable ball of suspense... being helplessly curious... Ray could only ask, "WHAT NEXT?"

HE was about to find out...

"Stanley," Lily directed her attention to the guitar by her side and addressed it by name... "I know I did the right thing, but if I can't tell him the truth... I can at least tell it to you... Can't I?"

She picked up the guitar and held it gingerly to her side as if it were a precious, cherished life. She told it, "You always listen to me Stanley, you hear my heart..."

Ray was amused... he smirked to himself... "Stanley huh? That's quite a name for a guitar... I wonder where she got that from?" Oh, to be that comfortable orange and black electric guitar... the one she was holding onto so tightly... the one that had been with her it seemed like forever... the one that had been a part of her, you couldn't tell where she and it separated... the one that heard her heart and her secrets... the one she trusted with the truth... It was a shame he was jealous of an inanimate object... BUT HE WAS...

He heard Lily then, begin to strum her "Stanley" to see if it was tuned properly, then she settled into a familiar melody...

When the chords rang out...

It was same song he'd heard earlier that night... and he wasn't sure he was ready to hear it again... It was almost too much the first time to bear... But, something was different about it now, the way she played it softer, almost tender, and the grudge pop rock power tune jammed out a little slower sounded as more of a ballad than anything else ...

Ray didn't know much about music, but he could only be hypnotized as she sang the "new" lyrics... of the song he thought had ended his life...

"This one is 'really' for you Ray..." She pretended he was here listening to her and dedicated it one last time to him... As if he could hear these words ... She poured out all of herself and all of her heart; what was left of it. In a way, he always was with her. Never very far; all she had to do was close her eyes to see his funny face. She sang sweetly, she sang gently, she sang low; she sang of longing and of love too. The song she had been intending to sing all along...

'Here I am, waiting for you...  
just the way you want me to.  
Here's your chance...  
What's your next move,  
in this game of win or lose...

All the years that we cared,  
All the things that we shared...  
Birthday-cakes, bad mistakes,  
Stolen bikes, open mikes,  
Sweet tarts, broken hearts,  
puched your arm,

Meant no harm...

Now, these things fade to gray,  
Since you've been away...

If you look back,  
you'll see my tears...  
because you've moved on,  
and I'm still here...

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else, but me.

Look beside you,  
I'll be there...  
I'm ready now,  
I have no fears...

Will you pick me?  
It's time to chose...  
Me or her,  
there's no room for two.

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else, but me.

Look to your future,  
do you expect to see  
a vision clear of you and me?  
Whether or not you're truly mine...  
I want you happy...  
IT'S GO TIME!

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else

You belong, you belong, you belong  
To no one else, BUT ME...

You belong to me.'

"I thought you belonged to me... Ray," Lily said through an exasperated sigh she couldn't hide.

The song had taken more out of her than she had ever dreamt possible.  
She released all she had with no grand expectations of it returning back to her any time soon. She no longer even trusted her voice to maintain her false sense of strength. Rather, she sounded desperate, almost pleading now... She had nothing left to hold onto; not even her foolish pride.

With a stabbing burst of pain...  
She sobbed anew...  
She didn't know what or how to feel about anything anymore...


	5. The Open Invitation, The Open Door

Rally does not own RFR but it seems she owns an attitude and is not afraid to USE IT! LOl, just kidding...

No matter what, I am still very happy with all the 'response' I'm getting, RFR fics don't tend to generate as much support as some other categories... but because of the 'mixed' reviews, and with all this suspense, hanging, and confusion going on... I decided to rush my update a little bit to see if the story would help clear itself up, sorry... the last chapter was a little rushed, and I will revise it visually for "easier" access... I'm not promising "easy" access just ... Accessible if you look close enough. Anyhow, I also added a disclaimer to the stories' Summary, because my writing style isn't for everyone... THIS is hardcore, and a tad bit complicated... so it takes a certain "Maturity" to appreciate all that goes on. That's why I rated it so highly "age-wise" ... My other fics are the ones I kick back on, while this... I turn up the DRAMA. LOl, but hey I promise it will all tie in together nicely by the end... IN A WAY YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE, so DON'T GIVE UP ON THE STORY... because you've made it this far in already and you just have to know how it'll all play out...

SHOUTING OUT TO:

**redtape43**: Thanks for the continuing support, and yes I too am still heart broken... We'll talk more later.

**lola5**: Yes, it would "seem" that way wouldn't it? LOL, I'm not trying to be a jerk really, I'm not. Well, it's not that I necessarily take "fanfic" 'overly serious,' because I know they're just for fun otherwise I wouldn't be here... Writing is fun for me, it's my release. And that's why I take "it" dead seriously. Writing is both business and pleasure. My real goal is to learn more about myself with each word I write. Some people don't share my views on it... how important it is to be able to express yourself. I've seen too many people just mess around and play games with what they write. Some people aren't that serious at all because they fail to realize that words do hold immense power... I don't know where you stand on that issue, but it's best to be able to find some kind of healthy balance between passiveness and obsessive fanaticism. So, what you said about me could be taken as a compliment or otherwise, I'm not sure... But, either way it makes me smile knowing you're still asking for an "update."

**ItalHunni28**: Yes, I think "ANGSTY" is a properly applied word in this situation. I would use the same one, that's why I changed my rating and category to "angst"... Thanks for "hanging" out... They'll realize it all right, but take the "LONG" way around.

**Crizzy4RFR**: Good eye, thanks for noticing... Randomness is hard to generate in the "context" of actually going somewhere with it. It becomes less "_hectic_" later, but it's almost like "clear chaos." LOl, just kidding... It's killing me the suspense is killing you... Thanks for checking out the story and for the "double take."

**Purplereader**: Thank you purple... I really believe you do get what this story is all about... Thank YOU, for having enough of an open mind to let the story touch you. That is what I write for. Thanks, for making my job worthwhile. Your support is "beautiful" to me... People often overuse and throw some words around all the time, but with you it actually means something special. You make that difference.

In addition to the "Open Invitation/ Open Door," This chapter could also be called "Shocking Ray," for good reason...

* * *

Look to your future,  
do you expect to see  
a vision clear of you and me?  
Whether or not you're truly mine...  
I want you happy...  
IT'S GO TIME!

You belong, You belong, You belong  
To no one else

You belong, you belong, you belong  
To no one else, BUT ME...

You belong to me.'

"I thought you belonged to me... Ray,"

* * *

Ray fluttered his eyes open and stumbled back away from the window with a gasp...

He released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in...

"No, no wait... what just happened here?  
She did not just... I didn't just hear her say..."

"Wait, I need a few moments to comprehend all of this... What does it mean?"

'Ray, I think you know exactly what it means,  
you're just not ready to admit it yet...  
but you'd better be ready SOON. You can be such an idiot sometimes!'

Funny, how his inner voice/conscience sounded a lot like Lily's,  
he rubbed the side of his arm knowing... on the word "idiot,"  
Lily would've smacked him hard...  
He could almost feel the bruise welding up...

He laughed and smiled at the thought...

Bruises wouldn't hurt as much as losing her though, of living a life without her...

He'd fight to keep her...

Lily Randall was his past, his present, and hopefully his future too...

Ray rolled his eyes...  
"This has got to be some too good to be true kind of dream...  
If it is, I don't wanna wake up ever!"

"God, this is Ray Brennan here. I've never asked you for much,  
but please just once let this all be real!"

He just had to see for himself, so he approached the window once again timidly and looked in...  
Yep, Lily was still sobbing where he left her last...  
She was in a lot of pain and he could tell..

Now, Ray was never one to experience a touch of Schadenfreude, but those tears of hers could only mean one thing... And for that he was blissfully happy!

(scha-den-freu-de (shdn-froid) n.: Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. He learned that from Travis... see he listened to the Travi-Lama occasionally, with a passing interest... Lily used that word on him once and he just had to look it up or ask for help... That's where T-man came in... he was a pretty stand-up guy that Travis, when he wasn't trying to place the mack moves on his girl...)

His gurl... after all of this he still considered her his...  
(My girl, my girl, my girl, talking about...)

'Okay, Ray no need to burst into song here... Get it together Brennan'

GET IT TOGETHER? GET IT TOGETHER?

HOW COULD I? WHEN, I just realized that Lily  
feels the way I, well...

I wanna run, I wanna shout! I'd better be sure...

I'm gonna go find out RIGHT NOW!

I don't wanna keep on making the wrong assumptions...  
I need to hear it all, the truth from Lily...

The truth will set both of us free...  
No matter what it means...

Whether or not... it's true... At least I won't be stuck around in a La-la land of limbo  
torturing myself with the constant nagging question...

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN?

I'm finally willing to risk what I have to...

Ray bounded down the rest of the stairs with a renewed vigor, an almost child-like energy...The anticipation that comes with a genie granting your fondest wish...

He could hardly wait!

He placed his hand on the cold, steel door nob... which fogged up from his touch...  
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes... HE WAS GOING IN'... with no cover...

On the count of  
1... 2... and 3...


	6. Hey, You

Rally doesn't own RFR, never did... Still wishes. She can dream.

I AM SO TRULY SORRY I haven't updated sooner... MORE THAN YOU GUYS KNOW...  
ONCE A STORY BUILDS MOMENTUM IT IS UP TO THE AUTHOR TO KEEP IT GOING.  
SO, IT MAY BE BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, BUT HERE IT IS...

SHOUTING OUT TO:

**radiofreegirl**: I thought we WERE already FRIENDS... WE GO WAY BACK, I DON'T TAKE MY FRIENDSHIPS I BUILT BACK ON THE-N LIGHTLY! I mean really, you guys mean the world to me and were there for this crazy, "PARKEREQUSE" GIRL... I mean, I FOUGHT THE "MAN" and you were right there with me... Yes, anytime... I'd be there for you... e-mail me, review me WHATEVER... my address is public... I don't want you guys to think I've forgotten about any one of you... I'm still a fan of yours. Actually, the-N'ers now they had to wait forever to see this story through to its finish.

**Crizzy4RFR**: I am always honored by your presence on my stories, your reviews WOW! GREAT ANALYSIS too, I mean really you SPOILER YOU! LOL, and you said my stories were "_SPONTANEOUS_" and that was a good thing. Actually, that is exactly how perceptive I want all my readers to be, just like you. SO, they won't be confused and so I won't have to explain every little thing. IT's GREAT, when readers know what's going on. I ACTUALLY put a lot of trust in the reader... That they'll let the story touch them in their own unique way. BECAUSE EVERY READER IS UNIQUE. You know what's funny seriously, I've read your reviews on like "The meaning of Goodbye" KK's awesome story... AND I WAS LIKE... I HOPE Crizzy4RFR will review one of my stories one day... I think you've reviewed all three...AWESOMELY AWESOME!

**Purplereader**: Yes, in fact I did check out your fav's list... and THANKS! I appreciate the blushes and the praise you give me.. DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU PURPLE? It is kind of personal I know... You can call me Ral your pal... LOL or just plain old RALLY! Anyhow, I'm sorry it took so long for that next chapter... I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT! I WON'T PROMISE THE CLIFFS WILL STOP HANGING... but I'll try to ease the pain.

**lola5**: YES, YOU ALL SHE IS "_ANXIOUS_..." And she wants to defend me and "_LET THEM TALK._" SHE IS ON MY SIDE, I WON HER OVER... actually my story did... and that was the whole point... YEAH! LOL, thanks lola for sticking with me. I MEAN IT.

**ItalHunni28**: I promise Rily interaction, angst, and tears! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!

NOW WHERE DID WE LEAVE OFF? OH, yea right here...

* * *

I'm finally willing to risk what I have to...

Ray bounded down the rest of the stairs with a renewed vigor, an almost child-like energy...  
The anticipation that comes with a genie granting your fondest wish...

He could hardly wait!

He placed his hand on the cold, steel door nob... which fogged up from his touch...  
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes... HE WAS GOING IN'... with no cover...

On the count of  
1... 2... and 3... (Click)

* * *

With as much energy as he had before; it was surprising even to Ray how calmly and slowly he opened that door...

When all he wanted to do was burst through it and make Lily his for sure, forever...

Lily hadn't even noted his coming in...  
Her face was still firmly planted in her hands from the outburst of her last set of tears; her elbows resting softly on the corners of her knees...  
I have to do something to get her attention, she looks so sad like that and I can't take it... 'Brennan for once don't be a Duffus and screw this up! You have to say the exact right thing at the precise right time... Use the perfect words to win her over...'

He knew the next words he'd utter would set the tone of this encounter; everything may hinge on this next moment... In the wake of such pressure

Ray settled for an awkward,  
"Hey, man..."

Not Shakespeare exactly, but he was nervous and his vocabulary was slightly limited.  
He tried his best, and it produced the desired effect...

Ray watched as Lily's head snapped up to attention as shock spread and expressed itself upon all her gorgeous features...

"Ray... Is that you?" Lily asked disbelievingly... he was the last and first person she needed to see right now...

"Yeah Lil, it's me..."  
Lily looked at the boy with his hands in his pockets, who found his shoes so suddenly intriguing as he rocked back and forth little by little... She smiled to herself... So, he wasn't a dream before her after all. She'd just have to make the most of it. And she would...

Lily rose from the couch to start and take purposeful movements towards the "innocent" Ray...

Like a lioness on the prowl, on the hunt...

He didn't stand a chance...

With every step she became more and more aware. A million scenarios played themselves out in her imagination.

One step closer seemed a lifetime away...

She knew in that moment, exactly what and who she wanted...

She knew everything, and knowledge was powerfully freeing.

But, knowledge is often burdensome. Freedom is not the same as liberty.

Epiphanies come with responsibilities.

She knew truth, reality, and logic. All were knocking on the back door of her mind like a wrecking ball.

Yes, she wanted Ray and she'd do anything reach out to him, but not like this, it wasn't just right, because as much as she tried to deny it... Ray belonged to Grace now, and she'd just have to accept that. She'd accept it but just wouldn't believe.

Ray could've been no more than two feet away, when she stopped short. She made a boundary and determined not to venture past the safety Pronto's mike would allow her. She was so devastatingly embarrassed of how quickly her courage had slipped away from her. This had to be the worst kind of stage fright. A loss of spirited bravado when she needed it most. Compared to this, "Open Mike Night" seemed like heaven. She'd give anything to be anywhere else, but she was helplessly trapped.

Having him so close was the sweetest kind of torture, the kind that kills.

She may never get the chance to have him this alone with her again.

If she didn't do anything now, she might loose him forever. Yeah, they'd be polite enough to still be friends, but "just" friends. Things would never be the same between them.

Funny, how she and Ray both worked so hard to let things "change" while keeping them the "same," so they wouldn't risk the friendship. Look how well that turned out for them... Seems that,  
Not risking anything was the biggest risk of all.


	7. Did I hear you right?

I don't own RFR, there admitting you have a problem is always the first step...

SHOUTING OUT TO:

**Crizzy4RFR**: LOL, no in a sense I was joking with you... because I too know what it is like to be "review girl," Reviews are a powerful things... I've made a lot of good friends on this site that way. Anyhow, I've been reviewing for years... just have never posted my own work til now, and I have a lot of catching up to do. Trust me I don't need some real, cruel "plot twist" to turn this story's tide... It's only almost half way posted now... There is enough between Lily and Ray to write a novel, I've just been one to try. Lol, anyway but in all seriousness it is an Honor for me to have your "insightful" presence on my review board. That is no JOKE at all... You always make me smile or laugh at myself, and my story.. That's a good thing. And as far as that line goes, it one of my personal favs too... It's fun to write about, but it hurts to experience.

**Morei Sky**: Thanks, I appreciate all you said. Travi-llama... I like that one too... And "FEET" well that one kind of came to me watching Lie vs. lie, when Parker says about Ray's T-shirt, "I think its funny and sweet." It kind of went from there. Yes, she could've had him... We know that, he knows that, but she doesn't yet. Lol, that's what makes this so much delectable fun.

**lola5**: I know lola, LOL... I was just toying with ya... I tend to do that sometimes... I have a twisted and complex sense of humor... just ask Crizzy. You're fun... you really are... I'd like to "let you talk,"and you can always say more than just "Hi" to me. I know you aren't "Speechless."

**Freshman19**: Thanks Freshie... I do try. I haven't been around here long... but I'm gonna try to make people forget that. LOL, Rally had to do it again... like she seldom has before... LOL.

Hey, for future reference.. The next chapter will be a LONG one... expect it. It's been hard to divi up my story and find proper breaking points... because it all kind of flows in together. Anyhow, for now... Let's just pick up from where I left off...

* * *

Funny, how she and Ray both worked so hard to let things "change" while keeping them the "same," so they wouldn't risk the friendship. Look how well that turned out for them... Seems that, Not risking anything was the biggest risk of all.

'Damn, I can't believe this! What more does he want from me?'

'God, haven't I suffered through enough tonight? This is too much...'

Exasperated, Lily asks, "Ray, what are you doing here?"

Ray looks up, hurt to see how Lily watches him like a stranger, he just never thought it would come to that.

He's shocked into honesty.

"I'm here, probably for the same reason you are... I just wanted to be. I had to, almost like it was the right thing to do. You know what I mean? Sometimes this is the only place I can run to that feels right..."

"I know what you mean, but there's one thing I don't get..."

"What's that Lil?"

"Well, I know what's making me run, I just have no idea what's making you..."

Her directness catches him off-guard. Her tone is one she seldom uses.

"Man Lil, I wish you'd just give me some credit."

"Now, why would I go around doing a stupid thing like that ?"

"Simple. Because you know me too well for anything less..."

"Oh, Ray..."

Lily takes this paused opportunity to turn her head slightly away and blink back some stubborn stray tears, which escape from lock down. She's not sure why those few, simple words affect her so core-deeply.

Usually such a slight, semi-split second, movement would evade Ray's notice. But not tonight.

How could he have missed it before? Was she always this damn beautiful; he knows she must have been ... He's determined to notice everything about this girl in front of him. He's known her since before he was potty trained, yet she still is brand-new to him. Rediscovering her in every way possible is his ultimate goal in life. They should make a course of study for it... Lily:101.

That would be a class he would actually stay awake in.

"Lily, you should know that I..."

"Yes, Ray I should know that you..."

"That I... I... I... Achoo..."

"You achoo? Oh, I mean God, bless you! Not that you deserve it ..."

Lily moves close enough to playfully punch Ray in the arm, finally noticing her fist is all cold and wet.

"Ray, look at yourself... You got caught outside in the storm... You're all soaked and freezing!"

'I can't believe I'm about to say this...'

"Ray, why don't you get out of that sweater and shirt before you get pneumonia and catch your death?"

'I can't believe she just said that...'


	8. Warm, Orange Fuzzies

OH, I still don't own RFR... that much is true.

GUYS... I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED SOONER! I AM ONE BUSY BEE... COLLEGE, WORK/FAMILY, AND TO TOP IT OFF... TRYING TO STAY ON TOP OF THE FOUR STORIES I HAVE OUT THERE... WELL, it's just say... IT's a little "MORE" than just ambitious... that is the difficulty... I EVEN WANNA PUT MORE OUT THERE... BUT NOT UNTIL I AT LEAST FINISH POSTING UP ONE... YOU GUYS DON'T KILL ME IF YOU KNOW, I USUALLY HAVE THE FINISHED PRODUCT... FOR A LENGTH OF TIME... I JUST REPEATEDLY POUR OVER IT... UM, well... I WAS gonna put up a long chapter so as not to break the flow of the piece, but turns out a GOOD stopping place Popped up, so I'm taking advantage of it...

AS FAR AS SHOUT-OUTS GO... (I usually like to individualize my response, but this one will be general...):

THANKS FOR ALL THE CONTINUING SUPPORT... UM... GUTTER MINDS and TEMPTING COME-BACKS ASIDE... I THINK IT'S HIGH PAST TIME... I GO ON WITH THE SHOW...

* * *

"Ray, look at yourself... You got caught outside in the storm... You're all soaked and freezing!"

'I can't believe I'm about to say this...'

"Ray, why don't you get out of that sweater and shirt before you get pneumonia and catch your death?"

I can't believe she just said that...'

Lily retreats back slowly towards the couch and retrieves a fuzzy, worn-out, folded orange blanket...

Ray watches her movement with a peaked interest...  
"ARE YOU DEAF? I told you to take that sweater off Mr."

"But Lily..."

"You'd better do what I say, if you know what's best for you, Ray..."

With a defeatist attitude he can only respond with a  
"Yes, Mame... You know, you sound just like my mother."

He starts to pull his first layer of clothing off...

Good thing his big ol' head has gotten stuck in his sweater for a minute, otherwise he might have seen how beet-red flustered Lily had become...

She was also trying desperately to stifle her fit of giggles during this time, because it seems Ray was fighting with his shirt, and the shirt was winning by a landslide...

3 minutes later...

Ray had finally done as he was told and looked up half-naked to find Lily had returned to her previous seated position on the couch...

Lily, with arms wide open spreads out the afore- mentioned orange-blanket and instructs,  
"Come over here, Ray." and pats the place to the right of her...

"Lily, that thing must be older than we are and you want me to wrap it around myself?"

"Yes I do, I'm sorry but it's all I have..."

With a quick stomp of his foot Ray says, "Fine."

He walks like a condemned man on death-row in order to meet his fate... Who knows where that blanket has been? It seemed like a woolly monster, or a mutated puppet out to get him...

Ray starts to sit down on the couch with his back to the blanket, and Lily proceeds to ensnare him with it...

She brings the top two ends around his neck in a cape like fashion and he's now snuggled tight as a bug in a straight jacket...

"Now, see Ray that wasn't so bad... WAS IT?"

He opens his eyes from their cringed position and answers, "Yes, yes it was... you have no idea. I think I want to take my chances facing a frigid death."

Lilly rolls her eyes...  
"Too late for that Ray..."

"Aww man!"

"You're such a child..."

"But Lillllllly..." Ray whines out, "It itches..."

Ray struggles frantically to break his arms free and scratch himself all over,  
Lily compares his motions to that of a dog with fleas.

"Oh, you big baby..., here let me help."  
Lily lifts up the blanket a little bit to leave some room for Ray's back to be scratched...

She wonders how she never noticed how muscular he was under all those long-sleeve, v-necks...

She smirks watching Ray trying to blow up to the edge of his nose, and blink away some fuzzy woolen fibers from his eyes...

"Okay Ray, you can stop looking so pitiful 'cause I'm not buying it... and you wonder why you never made the drama team?"

"My nose is itchy though and the fuzzy stuff is flying everywhere... I blame you for this!"

"Aww, does someone's wittle nose need scratching?"

"Well yeah, because I can't use my hands with the way you kung-fu wrapped this "thing" around me... Have you been working out? I've been meaning to get to get to the gym... they miss me over there, especially the hottie trainer ladies..."

"Well, I'm not touching that hot dog you call nose."

"Come on, you already did me a solid by scratching my back... What could it hurt?"

"A lot more than you think, like my pride."

"Please, I'm dying here... don't leave me hanging... Please, pretty please with sugar and cherries on top."

"NO! And that's final."

"Did I ever tell you how nice, sweet, and sensitive you are... really, trutifully so?"

"Oh all right, since you put it like that. You can't help it if you're a dufus can you Ray?"

"NOPE, I'm totally defenseless and without a clue."

"That's what I like to hear, now stop whining before I come to my senses and change my mind..."

Lily begrudgingly scratches edge of Ray's nose...

"See, I knew I'd win..."

"No, you just knew I'd let you... though I'm giving you more of that 'credit' you're so fond of.."


	9. Shouting Match

LOL, AWW SHOOT... I DON'T OWN R.F.R., so I am now non-legally liable...

Shouting out To...

Crizzy4RFR: (A.K.A.)- the single reviewer.. Yes, I am twenty and in COLLEGE (a psych/ English major). Hey, I know, it's true... let the person without a "GUTTER-MIND" throw the first stone ... It's a shame really... Well, maybe this next chapter will redeem me in the "readers'" minds... So, you wanted to know where "IT" came from, huh? Well, I think you'll like that explanation... READ AND SEE...P.S. I'm glad you're BACK IN the writing game... I didn't get to respond to you on my other story yet (which I am updating soon, so keep a look out 4... Hey, did you love me? It's almost done too..) ... I just wanted to say... YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH... for this Category... You've honored R.F.R. so much... that I think if you hadn't written another word... YOU WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, I mean that... Sometimes I got disappointed ... wondering if I was making a difference... Well, a friend said the same thing to me one time and it turned things around for me. She told me she was proud... and I had done more than enough... gone above and beyond the call of duty... Actually, it didn't make me quit or rest... it made me pick up the fight again... WRITING IS A PRIVILEGE... and few recognize that, I think you're one of those "few"...

SO, hopefully I will bring the "READERS" back with this update... But, you know what's funny...Even if A single soul wouldn't read any further... I'd still finish putting this up and out there... Because I made a commitment to myself to do so...

I do like this next part... and I will update within a WEEK of it, because it is CRUCIAL... not to break the flow here... These next parts, HIT HARD AND FAST...They're kind of "BITTER-SWEET" as is much of this story...

SO, here it is HOT off the editing Block...

* * *

Lily tries to keep contact minimal, because it seems best 'that' way, even though this isn't the most spacious couch in the world... So, she keeps her "free" hand to herself  
and her face straight ahead to avoid Ray's soul-piercing death-brown eyes.

His eyes always amazed her because she always thought of herself as an admirer of boys with blue-eyes, because she could see herself reflected in them like she was  
drowning in two deep-pools, but Ray's dark brown, almost black eyes... they produce the same affect and more, which is an amazing feat in itself. They're like dark clarity.

"Lily... Lily... are you with me?"

"Oh yeah Ray, sorry just got um... side-tracked for a moment..."

She turns her head to finish her response when she finally notes Ray's closer proximity... How did he evade into my space without me realizing it...  
He was so close, she could feel his breath on her cheek and it was not helpful at all... She could almost hear his heart beat and it was racing like hers.

Something like this could drive any lesser person crazy-NUTS! God, this is a test right?

'Okay Randall, don't look up... WHATEVER you do... DO NOT LOOK UP... look anywhere else but at his eyes.'

"Lil..." he directs...

'Darn it... too late, I see them. Worse, I see myself in them... His eyes are like a mirror... '

"I finally figured out one thing I like about this darn blanket..."

"What's that Ray..."

"First, where'd you get it from?"

"My Mom gave it to me and my Dad gave it to her,  
it was hers in college, it was supposed to be a symbol of how their 'best-friendship' would last forever, even if it was like this tattered, worn-out blanket...  
At least it was always warm."

Lily takes a moment to think on the 'ironic' parallels...

"Why'd you ask Ray?"

"I wanted to know where it came from, because it smells just like you. Strawberries and lilacs, every inch. And that's what I like about it...  
Strange, I've seldom seen you with it before, and you never explained anything behind it... It just stays hidden away huh?"

"Well, that's because I only take it out of my closet, when I'm really sad. Like the world is ending kind of sad... I don't just waste it."

Lily instantly regrets the door she left WIDE-OPEN...

"Oh, I see... And what's gotten you so sad lately Lily Randall?"

"Oh, nothing really..."

If it's even possible, Ray comes even closer to where Lily is... "It must be SOMETHING, you said yourself you never 'waste' it..."

"IT just needed a good airing out."

"Lily, I've known you forever and I've never, ever heard that story, and you love to tell stories..."

"I've just never had the chance..."

"You never took it Lily, and that's YOUR problem."

Ray and Lily are on the verge of a shouting-match  
both of their voices are rising steadily...

"Darn you Ray, to walk in here out of nowhere... and judge me... like every thing's normal between us! LIKE THINGS WILL EVER BE THE SAME! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF! Duh, GET THE MESSAGE... IF YOU'RE GOING, just GO...DID THAT SONG MEAN NOTHING?"

"I KNOW, I'm SORRY OKAY... CHILLAX RANDALL!"


	10. Biding Time

NO, RALLY4EVER STILL DOESN'T OWN RFR. AND AFTER SO LONG OF NOT 'UPDATING' SHE SHOULDN'T EITHER... SHAME ON HER.

SORRY GUYS IT TOOK SO 'LONG'

* * *

SHOUTING OUT TO:

Crizzy4RFR: Thanks always for your continuing support... I'M SO SORRY... I MEANT TO KEEP THE "FLOW" GOING... but LIFE got in the way... SO HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? LOL, I APOLOGIZE... AND YOUR REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS "GIFTS" TO ME... HOW ABOUT WE JUST CALL THIS "CHAPTER" A 'BELATED' CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR'S GIFT.

Purplereader: AHH, CHELS... IT's good to HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN! PURPLE... MY FRIEND. I AM STILL IN "MOURNING" TOO... A PART OF ME DIED WITH RFR... LOL. BUT IT LIVES ON IN MY HEART AND IN FANFIC RIGHT?

paceyjoeytruelove: LOL, WELL... I'm more of a DAWSON/JOEY... SHIPPER. I KNOW, I KNOW... YOU GUYS WIN! BUT, STILL... I'M A SUCKER FOR THE OLD "SOUL MATES" BELONGING TOGETHER THINGY... CALL ME "MUSHY OR SENTIMENTAL" BUT... IT IS WHAT IT IS. IF I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN BEST FRIENDS/ SOUL MATES... I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS FIC... LET'S JUST SAY... PART OF ME DEDICATES 'THIS' ONE OUT TO THE "DAWSON"/ "RAY" IN MY LIFE. MY BEST FRIEND AND SOUL MATE. LET'S JUST SAY... I COULD 'TEACH' DAWSON AND JOEY A THING OR TWO ABOUT "BEST FRIEND" DRAMA... LOL. PACEY TOO. MY FRIEND WHO I WATCHED "D C" WITH.. WELL SHE WAS A PACEY/JOEY FAN... AND OF COURSE I HAD TO BE "DIFFERENT" ... SO NEEDLESS TO SAY THE 'SERIES FINALE' BROKE MY HEART. LOL. AT LEAST IN RFR... 'THEY" FOUND EACH OTHER. WHAT YOU DON'T THINK "QUESTIONS" WILL ARISE WHEN PACEY AND JOEY TRY TO BE "ENGAGED" OR 'SOMETHING'... PLEASE... IN 'REAL' LIFE IT WOULDN'T END 'THERE'. LOL, SORRY, I'm ON MY SOAPBOX... TIME TO STEP OFF... THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR REVIEW... THANKS THAT YOU LIKE THIS 'SO MUCH' TO 'RANK' IT UP THERE IN YOUR FAVS... ESP. WHEN THE "GOOD PART" IS FAR FROM HAPPENING YET... LOL. YOU'll LOVE THE ROLLER COASTER I'M ABOUT TO EMBARk OUR TWO 'Fav' RFR CHARACTERS ON... LOL. AND ALSO I'VE NEVER QUITE BEEN "ACCUSED" OF KEEPING MY CHAPTERS "SHORT" LOL... THAT'S FUNNY AND REFRESHING. LOL... I GUESS I HAVE TO MAKE THIS RFR "EPIC" LONGER... LOL. I'M "GETTING" TO IT... WELL IT IS ONE OF THE "LONGEST" OUT THERE... IN THIS 'CATEGORY' ... LOL.

Danni Evans: I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR REVIEW... THANK YOU... AND YES. I KNOW. THE WAY THE STORY IS "FORMATTED" , IT GAVE ME 'PAUSE' FOR CONCERN TOO... BUT ALAS. THE STORY WANTED WHAT IT WANTED. I'M JUST THE 'AUTHOR" HERE... IT'S LIKE THE STORY HAS A LIFE OF IT'S OWN... LOL. WELL, IF IT'S ANY "CONSOLATION" I ACTUALLY EDITED THIS "A LOT" FROM MY FIRST DRAFT, BELIEVE YOU ME. AND IF YOU'VE NEVERHAD 'DISJOINTED' THOUGHTS OVER A 'BEST FRIEND' YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW... LOL. WELL, IT WILL DEFINITELY "PICK UP" HERE... LOL. I KNOW I LOVE THE "STATION" ACTION. SEE, I WAS KINDA IN A BIND... THEY'VE BEEN A PART FOR "MOST" OF THE NIGHT. IT WAS A "PROCESS" GETTING THEM HERE ... NOW THAT THEY ARE. TRUST ME I WON'T "WASTE" IT. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT RAY'S "SHIRTLESS" ... LOL. He he he... Giggles.

**NOW WHERE WERE WE? LET'S PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF**...

* * *

Ray and Lily are on the verge of a shouting-match  
both of their voices are rising steadily...

"Darn you Ray, to walk in here out of nowhere... and judge me... like every thing's normal between us! LIKE THINGS WILL EVER BE THE SAME! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF! Duh, GET THE MESSAGE... IF YOU'RE GOING, just GO...DID THAT SONG MEAN NOTHING?"

"I KNOW, I'm SORRY OKAY... CHILLAX RANDALL!"

* * *

Lily who had jumped off the couch plumps back down and  
starts to calm her breathing...

"Gee, that was kinda out of nowhere wasn't it?" Lily states.

"Yeah it was, but it's not like I didn't deserve it."

Silence passes between them spanning an eternity. In those two moments an unspoken truce was reaffirmed.

Ray takes this unexpected opportunity to tuck back Lily's bangs behind her ears because they flew out during the rampage, but his hands linger there behind her ear...

"Lily, are you okay now?"

"I'm trying Ray, I'm trying."

"Lily, Look at me please?" Ray turns her face towards him and it comes along with little protest...

"What now?" Lily breathes out.

"Oh, I just wanted a real, close-up look into those blue-green eyes of yours... they shine like the Roscoe Pool on the first day of Summer before the day camp kids get there... I could go swimming in them."

'Much to close-to-home for comfort... Why does he have to always say those kind of things?'

"Why do you always have to say those 'kind' of things Ray?"

"Because they're true and because I mean them."

"I know you do, and that's why it hurts so much."

Lily looks down in Ray's hand as a single tear finds it's way into his palm...

"What kind of mascara do you use Lily?"

"Mabeline # 32... why do you ask?"

"Because you have a little... Number #32 on your cheek... here, let me get 'that' for you..."

Ray proceeds to rub a faint black-streak off Lily's cheek with his thumb.

"I guess you've had better times huh Ray?"

"Well, there was this one night in a tree fort..."

Lilly interrupts with a giggle, "Tree house Ray, girls play in tree houses."

"Okay, well there was this one night in a tree 'house'... when I knew I'd found a best friend... when I knew you and I would be best friends forever..."

"I guess some things change Ray, " Lily states through a disappointed tone.

"But some things never do. Lily, do you believe in soul-mates?"

"I don't know Ray, Should I?"

"All I know is, you should 'believe' in me, Lil.'

Ray's eyes were never as powerfully compelling as in that moment, Lily had to watch herself, otherwise there'd be no going back for either of them and she might end up saying some things she wouldn't regret, EVER. Three little words sting on the tip of her tongue, yet again for the second time that night, though somehow yelling it out in front of a crowd seemed much, much 'easier' than saying it to his face.

Gee, this suddenly tense, de-ja vu' feeling had explained itself... Switch the seats... switch the phrases, throw in a dry, lo- mein stained shirt and it was like her life was always coming back around to remind her of 'one' thing, Him and Her... Why is it every road she tried to take only seemed lead her back to Ray... It makes it really hard to let go and move on... Maybe, just maybe she wasn't 'supposed' to...

"You know Lily, I liked your song... And, it did mean 'something' to me..." Ray was still holding her face captive and hadn't let her escape yet.

She would have to force this.

Lily closed her eyes and savored this too soon-ending moment for just a split-second longer, before she decided to pursue a proper course of action.

She pushed her self off of Ray and the couch, to a back-facing standing position on the floor...  
She couldn't look at him, not just yet...

"Really Ray, I'm glad you liked it... Everyone did.. "You Belong to Someone Else" was a huge hit at SOUND WAVE... I wouldn't be surprised if "NO MAN'S LAND" had gigs lined up for months... This could be the start of "GREAT" things for us Ray...

Ray loosed the orange monstrosity around his neck and chillaxed back on the couch, and mused to himself, 'She's being so stubborn. She's being herself. She isn't gonna make this easy for either of us. We both already know why we're here, we just need to say it out-loud. Some things just need to be heard. Well, go ahead Lily Randall because I'm not going anywhere; I've got plenty of time... I'll let you off the hook for now...'


	11. Physics and Rain, Belonging to You

I Rally4ever DON'T OWN RFR, BUT I AM PROUD TO OWN THIS STORY.

SHOUTING OUT ONCE AGAIN TO:

All those wonderful people who took time out to review this here story…

paceyjoeytruelove: Thanks for the awesome review, and for the good points about the DC. Which is now on the-n. My fav. Seasons were one and two… went downhill after that… LOL. But you act. Make me 'almost' believe in 'true' love of the p.j. variety… True it did get too much back and forth. ENOUGH WITH THE DRAMA ALREADY!

He he… the 'drama' has just begin in my story though…

Criminal Insanity: I know I would've gone insane… well 'more' insane' without your support and your reviews… You've been a real pal. It's been a pleasure to know you. You're skills are masterful… Not only as a writer but as a reader, you are attentive to detail, which makes me putting detail into my story… all the more worth-while… worth the effort… it's truly rewarding to a writer. I appreciate 'that' you, more than you know. I hope your life is going great, You deserve that and more! As always it's a pleasure to see your name… I look forward to it.

Machina Deus: Any name you go by… Of course I remember you. Yet another observant reader… gosh you guys make me feel like I don't have to try so hard… to paint the picture… You guys see it for what it's worth. YOU READER/REVIEWERS are Brilliful to me… God I love it when in true-Ray form … words are brought together… You read my stories… you know how I do love 'that'. LOl. And I love that 'moment'.. you know the one. It's on my play-that-one again list… when it's RFR tape time.

lilyflowr33: Liz my gurl, I MISSED YOU! OF COURSE I TOLD YOU SO LAST NIGHT… HEY, It's YOU… he he… THAT IS ALL THE INTRO YOU NEED GURL,

IT'S ALWAYS ENOUGH. ESP. FOR A FRIEND. A SISTER AT ARMS. SHE ANSWERED THE CALL YA'LL…

ShweetAngel2486: Always glad to meet a fellow kindred spirit a Rilly at heart. What can I say? Hey, I too thrive off of the stuff… I hope this 'interaction' is good 4 ya… It was good for me … cause I sure loved writing it!

niikii: I noticed the attention: Mission Accomplished… as you well know… AND THANK YOU! I couldn't seem to say it enough when I mailed you… but… hey, REALLY THANKS. You have no idea what it meant to open up my inbox and know someone still was interested… Believe me… It was appreciated… It really moved me… Lol… Well, I'm updating aren't I?

(I must say I expect much screaming/ omg by the end of this chapter here)..SO… DOWN TO BUSNIESS… AS 'PER REQUEST'….

"Really Ray, I'm glad you liked it... Everyone did… "You Belong to Someone Else" was a huge hit at SOUND WAVE... I wouldn't be surprised if "NO MAN'S LAND" had gigs lined up for months... This could be the start of "GREAT" things for us Ray...

Ray loosed the orange monstrosity around his neck and chillaxed back on the couch, and mused to himself, 'She's being so stubborn. She's being herself. She isn't gonna make this easy for either of us. We both already know why we're here, we just need to say it out-loud. Some things just need to be heard. Well, go ahead Lily Randall because I'm not going anywhere; I've got plenty of time...

I'll let you off the hook for now... But not for long.'

Lily babbles on about everything and nothing at all really.

"Yeah, Parker she's an awesome guitarist and Meghan is the same way on drums, we deserve a shot.  
We're a lot better than a lot of other no name bands out there..."

Ray shakes his head and says, "Um hum, Lil."

"Oh and I'm finally getting it together in school... Physics is coming along..."

Ray observes to himself, 'She just had to throw 'Physics' in there huh, man she must be desperately nervous or  
desperately avoidant, possibly both.'

But he was too 'determined' now, to be put off by that…

"That's good to know Lil, but can we talk about something other than school?"

"Like what, Ray?"

"Something… Important."

"Well, school is important Ray," Lily tries to cover.

"Not as important as 'us', and what we're both doing here right now."

"What do you mean Ray?"

"Well, it didn't escape my notice that I'm still wet, while you're dry as a bone. Funny, you must  
have been here longer than you're letting on, to miss out on that lovely storm.  
It came in so fast and only built up stronger. It's still pouring outside."

"Yeah, darn I must have just missed it, really." Lily states bitingly.

"Lily, I'd thought you'd want to talk about something real."

"Want to talk about something real Ray, other than the weather? Why don't we talk about Grace?" Lily states with  
her back still turned and her arms folded.

"Okay, lets..." Ray is on the edge of his seat now, with his elbows on his knees.

'Now we're getting somewhere,' he thinks eagerly.

"Oh since we're not talking about the 'weather', I guess shouldn't state that if you were running from the storm,  
there's no way you could've gotten 'that' wet. Because the storm started out pretty lightly..."

"You're right Lil, but for now let's get back to Grace. What do you want to know?"

"Where is she now? Does she even know you're here?"

"She doesn't know because she's at home of course. Like the gentleman I am, I dropped her off after Sound Wave.  
I didn't even know I was coming here til 'a little' later."

"Did she like my performance? You two seemed to have left together in a hurry, too quickly  
to catch the 'ending' really..."

"Oh Yeah, of course Grace just loved it. Who wouldn't?" Ray sincerely informs her.

"I'm so happy, now my night is complete," Lily states with just a hint of sarcasm.

"Lil you're so talented. You were Great up there and you know it! Hey, we only hurried off because well after the screaming crowd started swarming around you and applauding, there wasn't much to be heard over all that 'noise'... You know?" Ray struggles, not quite sure how to word it so his 'hint' could be pulled off. He prays she 'gets' it.

"Thanks anyway, Ray. For saying I was 'Great'... And I am glad she liked it," Lily states.

Humm, maybe... she didn't 'get' it after all, just yet...  
Drastic measures might have to be taken; he always has to do it the hard way doesn't he?  
Is there any other?

He decides to try and open up some communication, with a 'simple' enough question...  
"What's your beef with Grace, Lil?"

"Nothing, it's just... Do you think you can still be her boyfriend and my best friend at the same time? Can you balance 'that'?  
Will she be okay with me in your life, Is there any room at all left for me?" Lily blurts most of the questions she's afraid of, save one.

"Gracie's a good girl, Lil. She's nice, sweet, charming, pretty, and smart because she has enough sense to laugh at my jokes."

"Oh. Well, Ray. Like I said in my song, if it's 'GO TIME…' I can respect you enough to stand aside and let you live your own life.  
It is what Best Friends do for each other, I want you happy, above all else Ray..." Lily states saddened deeply, but trying her best  
not to show it.

Those were the hardest words she'd ever had to utter...  
Admitting she'd want him happy, even if that meant without her.

Ray continues on almost as if Lily hadn't even said her 'happy' comment at all...

"She's good to talk to, she really listens... I can only hope she'll understand...  
She'll just have to understand."

"You 'only hope she'll understand' what Ray?" Lily hears his movements as he rises off the couch. The blanket drops  
from around his shoulders; she hears 'that' too as it falls to the ground, while he takes steps in her direction.

He's behind her now, she doesn't know what to make of 'this'…  
And she can't seem to will her heart to slow…

She feels his hands on the top of her arms, as they gently force her to  
turn around and face him.

"Well, I hope Grace will understand that... I belong to you."


	12. I Belong to You

I'm so inexpressibly sorry for not updating sooner. This last chapter is my favorite, but unfortunately the version of the chapter I had worked so long and hard on before was deleted on my computer by a virus, and I had it just the way I wanted. To say devastated would not do the feeling justice. So, I had to rewrite from scratch, and uh it is a little different from my original. Also, this story has been more than just a 'little hard' to say goodbye to and let go. It deserved a proper ending. I love this story so much and it consumed so much of my time, it's like saying goodbye to a piece of myself, who knows maybe a sequel or follow up is in order. But for now the story is happy, unless I find it needs more editing.

Now I can't leave this story alone before once again, thanking all of you beyond supportive readers and reviewers of this story. If it has come this far it is because of you. You've stuck with me, with the story. I've appreciated the support more than you know. And any of you as I've said before, are always more than welcome to talk to me, I don't forget my friends. I never will.

* * *

"She's good to talk to, she really listens... I can only hope she'll understand...  
She'll just have to understand."

"You 'only hope she'll understand' what Ray?" Lily hears his movements as he rises off the couch. The blanket drops  
from around his shoulders; she hears 'that' too as it falls to the ground, while he takes steps in her direction.

He's behind her now, she doesn't know what to make of 'this'…  
And she can't seem to will her heart to slow…

She feels his hands on the top of her arms, as they gently force her to  
turn around and face him.

"Well, I hope Grace will understand that... I belong to you."

* * *

Lily stammered gasping, "What'd you say? You…. What?"

Ray didn't back down as he explained again, "Lily you heard me… you know what I said. But I'll say it again if you need me to. I belong to you."

"That's what I thought you said." Lily replied softly.

She paused, searching his eyes, taking her time before asking,  
"Do you really mean it Ray?"

Ray smiled big, "Really, really. This is as real as it gets. I belong to you, if you'll have me…"

"Ray…" Lily hesitated as she slowly placed a hand on his chest over his heart.

In response, Ray hugged her to him, as if to stop her doubt and convince her. He was real, here in this moment, this was all really happening. His feelings were real.

Lily softly asks, murmuring into his chest, "Am I dreaming Ray?"

Ray released her then cupped her chin to make her look at him, "Lily pinch yourself if you have to, I'm just happy it's said.  
I couldn't live the rest of my life without you knowing."

Lily felt his pull, they were close again, and she felt herself moving towards his lips…

Lily shook her head as she said, "No we can't, what about Grace?"

"Lily, it's not going to work between her and me. I hope we can be friends,  
maybe we all can… but she's not my soul mate. She's just not you."

"Oh Ray…" Lily said his name softly and tenderly.

Ray's eyes twinkled as he said, "She doesn't even say my name like you do."

He questioned, "Do you really think I belonged with anyone else? Tell me the truth. Or did you always know it was meant to be like this."

Lily felt soft tears falling down as she replied, "I hoped Ray."

"So did I, Lil. I hoped beyond hope."

Ray wipes her tears away, before taking both of her hands in his,

Ray states, "I really hope those were happy tears Lily."

Lily answers, "Oh those, they were beyond amazed tears, and yes they were happy too."

Ray smiles at her, "Good, I'm glad. Believe me when I say I belong to no one else but you."

"Tell me something Ray, when was it exactly that you realized that you belonged to me?"  
Lily questions suspiciously.

"Humm," Ray responds, "We could just say a little black and orange birdie reminded me of what I already knew."

Lily smirks looking at her guitar, her Stanley and mouths a not quite so silent, "traitor" in its direction.

Ray explains further, "Remember when I said I liked your song, I never mentioned which version, so that explains the soaked through shirt,  
I was outside listening. And I'm glad I did, because it gave me the courage I needed to come in here; to keep believing that it wasn't all over."

Lily smiles, "Then, I'm glad you were listening too, since that version of the song was the one really meant for you."

"I know it was." Ray says in affirmation.

"Lil, can I ask you something now?"

"Anything Ray."

"What kind of name is Stanley for a guitar anyway?"

Lily giggles and says in reply, "Give the name a chance, it kind of grows on you after a while."

Ray shakes his head, "Whatever you say," he continues with a smile, "Because I love you Lilyan Katelyn Randall."

"I love you too, Raymond Stanley Brennan." Lily replies with a big knowing grin.

Ray leans into kiss her, but stops short as he starts to put the pieces together, "Wait, you named your guitar after me?"

Lily laughs, "Took you long enough. Of course I did silly. Who else would I name it after?"

Ray smirks, "And to think I was jealous of that thing for meaning so much to you."

"Ray, there's no need, I trust you both, I share my deepest feelings and thoughts with you both, you two inspire me to be better  
and to not be afraid of living my life, and expressing my dreams." Lily assures him.

Ray states, "I'm so in love with you right now."

Lily replies, "You couldn't possibly be any more in love with me than I am with you.  
I mean, come on, after all I said it in front of a whole large group of people."

"Yeah, just don't forget who said it and did so to the public first, you're just a copy cat." Ray teasingly states before finally catching her lips with his.

Their kiss answered any lingering questions between them. They knew the kiss was an homage to their past and promise of their future together.  
Everything was right; this is where they were always meant to be.

They had always belonged to each other and they always would.


End file.
